


face the burning heat

by zugzwang



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Poetry, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, i wish i knew how to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 07:06:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zugzwang/pseuds/zugzwang
Summary: love and worship are the same to him. he doesn't mind.





	face the burning heat

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: my religious knowledge is embarrassingly limited. there is a more than likely possibility this includes mistakes and inaccuracies. sorry in advance <3

 

 

 

 

01, 09

**ask and you shall receive**

a baptism at eighteen, not by water but by hair dark as night and pale, fragile skin. 

is this your god?

not a god, but as close as this world will ever get. something to believe in, maybe an angel, or a saint, but dan isn't sure. he'd have to get a closer look.

                                            and so he does.                

 

his mother cries and the long train ride that follows his departure feels like penance.

then:

a ferris wheel, an ascent to heaven, then back down to earth.

he learns salvation in green sheets, and again on the couch, and now that he’s gotten a taste he will never know how it felt _before_. 

 

02, 11

the red string that attaches them eventually pulls dan and his belongings to phil’s flat in manchester. he signs the lease as if it’s an indulgence. 

a few years of knowing him and phil’s just as beautiful, just as divine, 

jesus died for _him_ ,

_dan_ would die for him.

his own personal martyr.

a miracle.

 

03, 12

london is beautiful and there’s no hiding.

an old gift from phil, still dripping in gold even with age,

falls into the wrong hands.

they put a wall in between them and cry for days.

bloodshot eyes refuse to meet. 

dan loves him and hates him and hates himself and _loves him_.

and there’s screaming that even the storm outside isn’t loud enough to drown out.

 

chaos, it feels like.

the end times, judgement day. 

an angel falls from heaven.

 

04, 14

**seek and you will find**

rebuilding comes slow and then all at once.

they start with sticks and mud, and end up with a village. 

 

dan brings offerings, sacrifices food and wine and sets a fire in their bed.

they relearn each other and map new landmarks across vast expanses of skin.

fingers dip into a valley, up over a mountain, through a wave of dark curls as dan kneels in front of phil in something like a prayer.

 

they fiercely protect everything they have.

no more risks.

they keep their heads down in the streets and every touch is calculated and cautious under the heat of watchful eyes around them.

 

05, 16

_have you seen the world?_ asks dan one morning from his place on phil’s chest.

_-i’ve seen many worlds._

_which is the most beautiful?_

_-depends who you ask._

_what do you think?_

_-i think that only this one has you._

dan sighs.

_i’d love to see it all._

if the rebuilding was slow, the taking down is glacial.

it happens, though, a brick each day until the wall they had been so determined to build becomes nothing but a gate.

 

06, 17

london take two, 

a bigger flat to fit a bigger love and everybody knows it.

dan lets his hair grow naturally and phil handweaves him a crown from leaves. 

 

they drink wine and eat food together and spend every moment trapped in each other’s atmosphere. 

dan still worships him, but this time it’s deeper and phil knows it so he doesn’t show it as much as he used to.

the sun has never shone brighter. 

 

07, 18

they strip naked and walk through the streets hand in hand. some people stare, or give them dirty looks, but nobody says a thing. 

the next time they do it, dan paints phil’s body gold. 

they walk to the museum and spend hours (or maybe days, months, years) blended in with statues of saints and angels and other divine beings. 

dan has never known happiness such as this.

 

08, ∞ 

**knock and the door will be opened to you.**

eventually, when they grow too weak for their bodies, phil lifts their spirits far above the earth and decides to show dan every world in existence. 

he’s scared, at first,

but he feels phil squeeze his hand (does he even have a hand?) and he knows he’s safe.

 

and so they were, and are, and will be, and they travel the universe and see everything there is to be seen. 

 

and when there’s nothing left, and everything is dust and rubble, they pick up the pieces and begin to create something of their own.

**Author's Note:**

> title from work song by hozier


End file.
